garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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