Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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