dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
