just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
