hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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