What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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