i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
