Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
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im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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