i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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