my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
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