ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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