soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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