with your own penis?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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