he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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