Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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