your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
okay pat passed out under dana's car
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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