Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
