I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
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First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
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Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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