I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
