worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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