That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
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I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
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jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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