either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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