would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
