I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
