ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Randomize
