WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I've blown a few things in my day
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
