o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
