There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
