You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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