Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
