he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
