i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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