Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
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