I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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