i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
