omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize