Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
