Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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