its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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