You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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