You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I still have a little drunk in my system
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
