i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
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I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
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Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.