Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.