the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.