Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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