Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Randomize
