I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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