We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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