Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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