we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
