I seem to have left my pride at pride
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
