I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
