Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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