maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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