so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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