Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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