What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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