is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
