I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
