Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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