Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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