i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Randomize
