chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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