Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
