you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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